4/15/2014 (9:58pm) 137,897 notes

4/15/2014 (9:57pm) 75,391 notes

bitches-love-romano:

do you ever come up with AUs for your own life

(Source: doritovargas, via empresspinto)

4/15/2014 (9:57pm) 205,831 notes

thekatitube:

DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY

(via skinnybannana)

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

(Source: oldresidentdistrict, via skinnybannana)

4/15/2014 (9:56pm) 100 notes

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

Ok its 11:59pm and im going to go to sleep so i can say i didn’t stay up until midnight.

Ah fuck. By the time I finished writing this, it was 12:00. Plan. Failed.

(via empresspinto)

4/15/2014 (9:56pm) 215,738 notes

priest-of-rage:

bedquest:

dear fucking tumblr

this is a fucking bumblebee

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this is a fucking bee

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this is a fucking hornet

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this is a fucking wasp

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as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are

I feel like I just watched a step by step pokemon evolution

(Source: leatherh0ff, via skinnybannana)

4/15/2014 (9:55pm) 225,515 notes

The Best April Fools’ Prank (That I Shall Ever Do)

jabberwockyx:

justatiltedlamp:

Once upon a time, I decided that it was my solemn obligation to prank my friends before we graduated.

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So…I made Hogwarts Acceptance letters. A lot of them. Because who isn’t still waiting for their freaking letter to arrive?

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My hand hated me so much. Also, cursive G is the worst.

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Letters were posted. All was well.

Until this happened…

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What the-?

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This is literally the best thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

(via empresspinto)

4/15/2014 (9:54pm) 173,254 notes

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via fulfilledpromise)

4/15/2014 (9:53pm) 50,895 notes

zomzie:

kagahimedesu:

If I consider you a close friend chances are I’m gonna be at least a little gay with you

(Source: dropdeadesu, via yuriheichou)